Another Summer, Another Blog Post

Since its Summer again, and even though I'll be taking 4 classes, I should have more time to keep up with this again. My life has made some major turns in the past few months and the biggest one has been school.

When I went into college, i thought that I knew for sure that I wanted to be a kindergarten teacher. I had been a dance teacher for almost 6 years and being the oldest cousin on my mom's side of the family, I knew I had the natural talent and patience to work with children. After a semester of classes, I realized that the classes were so easy that I was bored and I also didn't want to spend 5 days a week with 25 five-year-olds because I had a fear that I wouldn't give my own children the attention they needed at home. So I started the search for a new major and career ideas.

I looked into every major in the catalog and couldn't decide what to do. My roommate at the time was a Communication Disorders major and I helped her study one night. I was intrigued by challenge of the school work. I thought it would be perfect for me. I could work with children, in a helping profession, and challenge myself through 2 more years of college and then 2 years of grad school.

By my Junior year of Com Dis, I was burnt out beyond belief. I had practically abandoned my sorority because I spent my days studying rather than socializing and I watched my relationship with Will go down the drain. I didn't give him the same attention I had given him before and he took a backseat to my school. I watched his heart break a little every time I forgot to kiss him hello because my nose was stuck in a book or my brain was distracted by upcoming tests. I busted my butt for C's when I'm used to getting straight A's. I would have given up but everyone assured me that I would get through it.

Senior year, Spring semester with only 6 courses away from graduating in December 2010, I seriously started to evaluate my future. I realized that all the hard work I did the past 4 years would be a waste because I didn't have the grades to get into grade school and the inability to get a job without a master's degree. Every other week I told my parents my plans for the future- whether it be letting my current job ship me off to whatever city they choose to go through intense retail manager training or attempting to apply for out of field grad programs in any state that would take me. None of these things I really wanted to do, but I'd settle on anything for some certainty in my future. I was/still am going through personal issues and I was looking for anything to tell me that the future was going to work out.

I've always been an overachiever and try my best at anything I do. I hate failing and I've always wanted to do something big with my life. The fact that I had no idea what I was going to do with the rest of my life made me feel like a failure. I knew I had to figure something out...

To Be Continued