Since I'm not your everything, how about I'll be nothing to you...

Its been about 2 months.

He was what I always looked for in a guy. He was my best friend. My support system. We laughed and we cried together. We were there for each other, even if no one else was. We spent almost every holiday together, and his family became like a second family to me. He always thought we would be together. That when he thought about the future, he say me in it. He was the person to tell me everyday how he loved me and how important I was to him

Until the day, when he woke up, and wasn't sure if he was still in love with me. He just needed a break from everything to figure his life out. This was the day that my life got turned upside. This was the day that I had to learn to live my life by myself because for the past two years, I hadn't done much of anything by myself. I had to learn to fall asleep alone, to brush my teeth alone, to in general... be alone.

Its been a very complicated 2 months, and a very emotional rollercoaster. He leaves for Europe tomorrow, and we said our last goodbyes, possible forever. As of tonight he is sure that he does not want to be with me ever again, and I know that I can't be friends with him, at least not for awhile. A long while. This is probably the worst pain I have ever felt, but knowing the truth is for the best.

Its heartbreaking to say goodbye to your best friend, probably forever and this is will be harder than I know or can expect.